Whenever I'm in the car with you,
I'm scared the car will crash & we'll be the only 2 survivors.
Whenever I'm home alone with you,
I pretend to sleep because I wish I was dead.
Whenever I'm in the same room as you,
I dig my nails into my palms and sink my teeth into my tongue.
If I was your voodoo doll, you would have blood filling your mouth
From everytime you've spoken over me.
If I was your voodoo doll, you would have pits in your palms
From everytime I've wanted to take your life.
You would have slashes on your arms & face
From everytime you've made me lose my sanity.
You would have burns all over your body
From me scrubbing too hard because I never feel clean.
Your thumbs would hurt
From me texting the crisis line everytime I want to kill myself.
Maybe I reject God
Because I can't understand who would allow such things to happen.
Maybe songs about sex scare me
Because I will never be able to think of sex positively.
Maybe I'm disgusted by appendages
Because the first time I learned of one I was victimized.
I hope the next time I'm in the car with you,
A truck slams into your side.
I hope the next time I'm home alone with you,
The ceiling fan falls and shreds you open.
I hope the next time I'm in the same room as you,
It's at your funeral.
{copyright 2018 madame-santana.}